I felt the ground lurch beneath me. I was swept off my feet. Landing on something hard, I felt blood trickling down my neck. It was warm. Sticky. My head was swimming. I heard Edmund screaming. Suddenly the ground began to shudder once again. One more jerk was all it took. I was thrown off the edge, with only one hand clinging on. A couple metres away, I could make out Edmund struggling to grip onto the edge.“I’m trying to hold on”, he shouted. My hand began to feel numb. I couldn’t feel anything anymore. I let go…
Dear Wissam,
A well crafted piece of writing, though a not-so-good-feel story. Your description of the injury on the person of the narrator is neat. I also liked how you use the phrase “I could make out Edmund struggling..” Overall a well written piece of story. Hope the ending isn’t as bad as it sounds!
Keep on writing, Wissam.
What a well written story! You have created such vivid images. Words and phrases such as: “lurch”,” blood trickling”, shudder, all add to the tension and engage the reader. Well done.